Review: The X-Files: I Want To Believe!

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

Written By Steve

Score: 4/10 (Underwhelming!)

Bottom Line: Save Your Money

To-The-Point: What should've been a glorious return to form for The X-Files, viewers are reminded why the show was cancelled in an effort that is too little, too late. With a boring story that would've barely worked on TV, a lack of suspense/mystery, and mundane repetitious dialogue, I Want To Believe should've been renamed I Want My Money Back.

Complete Truth: Who asked for this movie?

...besides David Duchovny, of course.

The X-Files hobbled off television over 6 years ago, hampered by boring new characters, tons of lame spin-offs, and a lack of fresh material. Despite the rough final seasons, people still look back fondly at the show's influence and impact throughout the 90s. I Want To Believe, however, hopes to wreck your memories like a clown at a birthday party with a horribly uninteresting movie that feels disjointed and outdated.

The instant IWTB appears onscreen, it's obvious that the poor directing and editing ruin any cinematic hopes you might've had. Throughout the running time, the entire affair reeks of its television influence as no moment even approaches the larger-than-life feel that modern cinema demands. It's as if Chris Carter found an old unproduced X-Files script for a monster-of-the-week episode underneath his naked Gillian Anderson photos and decided to convert it into a screenplay by padding the story with repetitive dialogue and uneventful detective work.


See, Scully? We wouldn't have gotten such a shitty review on AverageMovieGuy.com if you had only slept with him!

There are far too many cliches scattered throughout, from Mulder's first appearance as a scruffy-faced recluse posting news clippings on the wall to the introduction of a priest that is also a pedophile (it's quite disturbing that such a character has become a stereotype). Mulder and Scully seem to have the same plodding conversation several times, as Carter assumes we haven't realized over the past 15 years that Mulder wants to believe and Scully doesn't. Mulder's inclusion in the case never makes sense, as the FBI feels the need to hunt him down simply because a single agent is missing and he's dealt with psychics in the past. Scully's side story could've been lifted from a lame episode of ER or House, and it never truly coincides in a satisfactory manner with the rest of the movie - it only made me realize how scary surgery can be, since a professionl such as Scully researches medical conditions and treatments on Google the day before surgery.

With no suspense and only a few minutes of action, the entire film relies on a captivating mystery to drive the story forward. Instead, we are "treated" to a small-scale tale that can be pieced together by the film's midpoint, involving mad doctors performing surgeries on unwilling victims. (I wonder if they used Google, too?) Although the film does raise a few interesting questions regarding faith and redemption, the stakes are simply not high enough and there isn't enough story to justify a feature-length film. There are moments where Carter could've significantly increased the suspense and excitement, but he mishandles these chances and bumbles through the proceedings like a first-time, low-budget filmmaker. There are absolutely no surprises contained within, moments are directly ripped off from films such as Se7en, and chase scenes are abruptly cut to make room for akward humor that includes the suggestion that George W. Bush is an alien.

Outside of some decent acting, hints of a Mulder/Scully romance, and a few brief references to the show, there is absolutely no reason for this film to exist. The truth isn't out there, it's right here: The X-Files is dead.

Side Note: Stay after the credits to witness...Mulder and Scully on a row boat headed towards a tropical island?! That would be horrible enough, but then they go and break the fourth wall by waving at the camera...

The X-Files: I Want To Believe, a 20th Century Fox release, is Rated PG-13 for violent and disturbing content and thematic material.

Total running time is 100 minutes.

Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, and Xzibit. Written by Frank Spotnitz and Christ Carter. Directed by Chris Carter.