Written By Steve
Score: 4/10 (Underwhelming!)
Bottom Line: Save Your Money
To-The-Point: Replacing charm and wit for more nudity and racism, Escape From Guantanamo Bay rehashes the first film to become a pale imitator of itself. A few references to Go To White Castle provide some of the only shining moments, but unintentionally causes the realization that the audience should be watching the original instead. Boring dialogue and cliche material drag the entire film through an unfunny muck, generating no interest for the possibility of a sequel.
Complete Truth: I generally find no interest in "stoner" comedies, since they tend to rely on cheap gags and low-brow humor that only becomes funnier the more your IQ drops. However, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle quickly became one of my most cherished comedies due to likable characters, clever twists on familiar material, and an over-the-top approach that bordered on being a spoof. Escape From Guantanamo Bay, unfortunately, ignores these unique elements and succumbs to being a shadow of its former self.
Beginning immediately after the ending of White Castle, we are thrust into a severely unfunny first act involving bathroom humor suitable for a five-year-old, overdone racial discrimination, and a generic love interest that is about as necessary as a dildo sharpener. After our duo are mistaken for terrorists, the film comes to a complete halt as they are imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay in what has to be record time. But don't be fooled, as the titular escape involves no clever planning or espionage - Harold and Kumar escape within minutes through pure luck. Most of the film is presented in this manner, with potentially hilarious scenes wasted on haphazard writing and the most generic material possible. Filthy things happen in prison, the KKK hates other races, guys enjoy naked women, and hillbillies inbreed - wow, what revelations.
Not even you can save us from mediocity this time, Doogie Howser.
Somehow, Escape manages to be completely racist while trying to focus on the negatives of such behavior. Numerous scenes revolve around white people being ignorant or plain stupid, and the joke becomes old quicker than this chick. Everything becomes predictable when you realize that most characters are written in the opposite of their stereotype - so when you see a group of thugs playing basketball, you've already predicted the punchline minutes before the film shows you that they're actually not that threatening.
Besides a few fleeting glimpses of hope, such as a flashback to Harold and Kumar's college years or the end credits romp through Amsterdam, the only pleasant moments appear as references to the original film. Neil Patrick Harris returns as a sex-crazed version of himself to provide a peek into what mushrooms do to your mind and body, the infamous word "extreme" is muttered at one point, and we witness the return of Kumar's true love. However, these scenes only magnify the poor writing elsewhere while you slowly realize you're only laughing at jokes from the first film.
Another gripe, however minor, is that Goldstein and Rosenberg are severely underused in this film. One of the joys in White Castle was that instead of following their adventures (as most films would've done), their story occurred parallel to Harold and Kumar's journey. By catching glimpses of their night throughout the original film, we had a sense that their shenanigans could've been its own separate movie. Here, they are more wasted than Indiana Jones' son.
With repetitive material that steals from the original film, jokes that revolve around watching characters smoke pot, and a complete lack of references to The Gift, Harold and Kumar should've escaped to Amsterdam instead.
Side Note: This film was originally supposed to go straight-to-DVD, but it was decided that the series become a trilogy and released theatrically.
Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay, a New Line Cinema release, is Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language and drug use.
Total running time is 102 minutes.
Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, and Neil Patrick Harris. Written by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg. Directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg.
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