Poll Results for August

The end of summer is usually a depressing experience, knowing that nice weather must be replaced by school and work. After this summer, however, I am elated and hopeful for the seasons ahead - mostly because a.) crappier weather allows me to justify my constant time spent indoors, watching movies and b.) this year's summer blockbusters were complete duds. So, let us toast to falling leaves and rising review scores with the results of our August poll!

Due to the recent trend of horror films being reduced to mindless gore-nography, I asked:

Which of the following "torture porn" films are actually good movies?

Would the general public agree with critics, or would they explain why these films have become some of the most profitable in the film industry?

I don't know, as 8 people can hardly be called 'the general public.' But, we'll make due with the results we have. As they say, when life gives you lemons, make bullshit generalizations.

Captivity 0% (0 votes)
The Hills Have Eyes (2006) 0% (0 votes)
The Hills Have Eyes 2 13% (1 votes)
High Tension 0% (0 votes)
Hostel 0% (0 votes)
Hostel 2 0% (0 votes)
I Know Who Killed Me 0% (0 votes)
Saw 25% (2 votes)
Saw 2 13% (1 votes)
Saw 3 13% (1 votes)
Wolf Creek 0% (0 votes)
I wouldn't know because I didn't waste my money on any of this garbage 25% (2 votes)
None of the Above 13% (1 votes)

Judging by these ground-breaking, mind-shattering, hyphen-requiring findings, the only successful torture films are part of the Saw franchise. This makes sense, as these films are the most popular torture films - even associating Halloween with the series through its release dates and marketing. It'll be interesting to see if Saw IV performs well at the box office, as a disappointing return could result in the death of torture films. Hopefully it's a slow, painful death that requires scalpels, chainsaws, and watching reruns of Dharma and Greg.

Besides Saw, most people didn't bother with even watching any of the films or simply didn't think they were good at all. These people are either extremely smart individuals with their heads on straight, or they are religious nuts (which could also be the punchline to a joke such as 'What do you call holy pecans?'). As for the single person that voted for The Hills Have Eyes 2, you should be a stand-up comedian because that's pretty funny. Did you actually see the movie, or are you taking a stand as a Hills Have Eyes fanboy? With anonymous results, the world may never know why this person chose that movie, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. I kid, I kid.

With that out of the way, let me shamelessly plug the new poll located on the right side of your screen. It's fun, I promise. Just don't come slapping me with lawsuits when it's not fun, otherwise that'll open up all sorts of legislation for people suing other people for not providing them with entertainment.

I'll start by suing the people behind The Hills Have Eyes 2.

And maybe Dharma and Greg, too.