Box Office Predictions: September 14th - September 16th

Hey everybody! It's that time of year again when skirts get longer, stores begin advertising their Christmas sales, and you spend another lonely evening sitting in a dirt field with a blanket waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive, only to realize that your parents lied to you.

Anywho, enjoy this beautiful time of year.

It may be your last, Mom and Dad.

BOX OFFICE PREDICTIONS
September 14th - September 16th

1. The Brave One, $18 million
2. 3:10 To Yuma, $9 million
3. Mr. Woodcock, $8 million
4. Superbad, $5 million
5. Halloween, $4 million
6. The Bourne Ultimatum, $4 million
7. Balls of Fury, $3 million
8. Shoot 'Em Up, $3 million
9. D-War, $3 million
10. Rush Hour 3, $2 million

This week's three releases couldn't be more different as we must choose between Jodie Foster displaying her best Charlton Heston impersonation, Billy Bob Thornton and Seann William Scott fighting for the award of 'Most Washed-Up Actor With Three Names,' and a South Korean film that uses crappy CG to once again prove that there will never be a good film focusing on dragons.

The Brave One should bravely go where Death Sentence couldn't - the top of the box office. The vigilante-themed picture will appeal to both violence-craving men and Foster-craving men, while also pulling in women with urges to see a female kick men's asses. Expect around $18 million to prove that America is indeed the only country in the world to have 9 guns for every 10 citizens.

Mr. Woodcock will attempt childish humor aimed at teenagers, but the limited appeal of the actors, poor critical reception, and bad word-of-mouth should soften this Cock before it has a chance to solidfy its success. If Christopher Walken can't draw an audience for Balls of Fury, then expect a meager $8 million for Thornton and his tired shtick of using child abuse as comedy. Fortunately, that means no lame spin-offs or tie-ins such as Balls of Woodcock.

D-War will flop with its poor marketing, no-name cast, and miserable special effects. Sorry, South Korea, but we already have enough shitty action films with crappy CG - enjoy your $3 million opening before you're deported next week.